Thursday, June 20, 2013
Got this e-Mail, from Heather
So what would you do?
- - - - - -
Date: Mon Jun 17 15:38:52 CDT 2013
From: "Heather" Add To Address Book
Subject: re: sent from my iPhone
To: Jim at ......net
- - - - - -
Date: Mon Jun 17 15:38:52 CDT 2013
From: "Heather"
Subject: re: sent from my iPhone
To: Jim at ......net
I was just thinking of you..
I just want to make sure
you got this
Enjoy,
--Heather
http://trkcm.heather..............com/u/imN1uLHp-nQv2Glo0Pm0W0b
I just want to make sure
you got this
Enjoy,
--Heather
To Stop Future Mailings Follow The Link Below:
http://trkcm.heather..............com/u/imN1uLHp-nQv2Glo0Pm0W0b
3760 Market St NE #193
Salem, OR 97305 USA
Salem, OR 97305 USA
- - - - - -
Whatever it was you'd do, I didn't do it.
Instead I posted it here.
BTW, just in case you know Heather you can tell her that she is sending out things like this. Probably someone 'high-jacked' her address book.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor(?)
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Got this e-mail from Kathy
Got this e-mail:
.
I received an email today from "Kathy Lagoli," (Google Link) kathy@thingdiamond.com, with the subject: Jim's Little Blog/(here referencing my post about Katrin's new bed) and with the body of the post as follows:
.
Hello,
.
Hey didn’t hear back from you, are you still in business ?
.
kathy
.
It came in my e-mail as a comment notification but the blog title had gotten scrambled some. I don't know why she picked on me but I do know from Google she has been targeting the blogs.
.
What she does is to leave a phone number in the second e-mail. One fellow said he actually called her. But he didn't mention his blog name or title so she stammered around a bit and hung up. He hasn't been able to contact her since.
From another blogger: "It DID get my attention simply because amomtoday.com is one of my blogs and I had recently put up the privacy policy.. I ALMOST replied to see what I had missed but something just didn’t seem right. I did a quick google of her name and found tons of others who had gotten emails from her which make no sense. They weren’t all the same but they all followed the same pattern, mentioning their blogs in the subject line."
.
I don't see any harm in opening it or calling her. I am sure something sinister is going on here but nobody Google comes up with has any idea about that.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor(?)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Got this message, now ... [at least ... (we know now)] -- LaLa Land is found
.
Ever have an e-mail just disappear? The "To" person never got it. There is nothing in your sent box. It might have gone to Lala Land. . .
That is the Funny Farm for missing computer stuff. Like "All the Gold is in Beverley Hills," "Many Missing Messages (MMM) are in Lala Land [Yahoo here]."
. . Just when I tried to send an e-mail I got this message on my screen. I determined that my message wasn't sent:
1. I always do a 'Control C' copy before I send. If the message is long I do it several times. Then if Yahoo acts up I can paste into a new shell and send again.
2. Sometimes my message 'goes away.' Welcome to Lala Land. Again not a problem:
a. I've don't the trusty old 'Control C' copy and can paste a my message in a new shell.
b. I don't put the addresses in until I am ready to send. Especially where the message is long and I might not have saved things properly. At least this way a part message won't be going out.
c. When I put the addresses in I always put my own address into the "Bcc:" position.
3. Here, this time, it was Yahoo acting up. All of the above worked good. Nothing was lost except the first cut of my message. Where did it go? Into Lala Land.
Ever have an e-mail just disappear? The "To" person never got it. There is nothing in your sent box. It might have gone to Lala Land. . .
That is the Funny Farm for missing computer stuff. Like "All the Gold is in Beverley Hills," "Many Missing Messages (MMM) are in Lala Land [Yahoo here]."
. . Just when I tried to send an e-mail I got this message on my screen. I determined that my message wasn't sent:
"Scheduled Maintenance
We are undertaking some essential, but extensive maintenance to improve Yahoo! Mail. During the maintenance period, some users may experience problems accessing Yahoo! Mail.We sincerely apologize for this inconvenience.
Your account is in great shape and we are working to have it available again as quickly as possible.
Yahoo! Mail Team"
Not really a problem because: [THESE WORK GOOD WITH WRITING BLOGS TOO]1. I always do a 'Control C' copy before I send. If the message is long I do it several times. Then if Yahoo acts up I can paste into a new shell and send again.
2. Sometimes my message 'goes away.' Welcome to Lala Land. Again not a problem:
3. Here, this time, it was Yahoo acting up. All of the above worked good. Nothing was lost except the first cut of my message. Where did it go? Into Lala Land.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor(?)
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Got this e-mail, now ... [at least he is writing better now]
From: "Dany Ibrahim" Add sender to Contacts
To: undisclosed-recipients
FROM THE DESK OF DANY IBRAHIM
THE AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING
SECTION MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA,
(B.O.A.) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
Dear Friend,
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the Auditing and Accounting section manager with Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou Burkina faso. I Hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.
I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($15) Million US Dollars only to your account within 10 or 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our Bank without claim.I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer late Mr Andrew Eich who died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since 31st October 1999.I don't want the money to go into government treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I am contacting you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer.
Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interested.Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me. I am expecting your urgent response as soon as you receive my message.
Regards,
Mr. Dany Ibrahim
Blogger Check Spelling thinks this pretty good. It did want Dany to spell his name with two N's. But so what? I will decline this one. I got not enough out of the others I don't need this one.
To: undisclosed-recipients
FROM THE DESK OF DANY IBRAHIM
THE AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING
SECTION MANAGER BANK OF AFRICA,
(B.O.A.) OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.
Dear Friend,
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise. I am the Auditing and Accounting section manager with Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou Burkina faso. I Hope that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that I am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.
I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of ($15) Million US Dollars only to your account within 10 or 14 banking days. This money has been dormant for years in our Bank without claim.I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer late Mr Andrew Eich who died along with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since 31st October 1999.I don't want the money to go into government treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why I am contacting you so that the bank can release the money to you as the next of kin to the deceased customer.
Please I would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete it if you are not interested.Upon receipt of your reply, I will give you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 30% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to handle this business with me. I am expecting your urgent response as soon as you receive my message.
Regards,
Mr. Dany Ibrahim
Blogger Check Spelling thinks this pretty good. It did want Dany to spell his name with two N's. But so what? I will decline this one. I got not enough out of the others I don't need this one.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor(?)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Help wanted -- Employment Opportunities -- Fake?
Got another e-mail today (I think it is a fake or spam or phishing):
Date: Sat May 29 07:55:14 CDT 2010
From: "Thomas G. Boren" [Add To Address Book]
Subject: Re: Employment Opportunities
Re: Employment Opportunities
Southern Electric Company
125 Goshawks Rd
Chesterton, Essex CO2 9JT, UK
Registered in Scotland No.117110
VAT No-Go 5532 7696 03
Phone: +447045731647
Email:recruit_officer@sify.com
A new job opening in your area, its a work from home/office position and you are not required to pay any registration fee or pay for any application form before you get employed.
Our Company seeks the service of a payment processor who would act as a medium of reaching our customers. If you choose to work with us, you do not need to quit your present job, or have problems with your employers as this is on a part time basis
THIS IS WHAT IT ENTAILS:
1. Get/receive payment from clients/Customers.
2. Process Payments at your Bank.
3. Deduct 10% which is your commission/Payment on check cashed.
4. Forward the remaining 90% to the information that will be provided later on.
Kindly provide us with your basic personal info such as:
Full Name:
Contact Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Country:
Phone Number:
Fill the above application so as to qualify you for the position.
Thomas S Boren.
If you get an e-mail using sify.com it may be Spam or worse.
Sify.com is a free hosting company. I Googled and got this informative site: http://www.419scam.org/419companies.htm#r
Here are the "R's." Please note that this recuritment offer is not listed:
RAINBOW NET LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMM.
RANDSTAD SECURITIES & VAULTS
RAYMOND CROSSROAD, AMSTERDAM (MR REINHARD WOOD, Pieter Han) Rdscourier
REAL LOTTERY INC
REALTY PROCESSING AGENCY (ANTHONY KLUIVERT / MARIA VENE)
REGIONAL FINANCE INTL. AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS.
REWARD INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY NETHERLANDS (Paul Wilkins)
Ricoh Security Agencies S.L
Rivers State Government International Lottery Program (George K. Alade, Susan Edafe)
Rolls-Royce Heritage Trust Charity Foundation
ROVAK FINANCE & SECURITIES COMPANY BV (Mr.Van Maroney)
ROYAL-BAY SECURITY
Royal Financial & Securities Services (MR.Trevor Baker, ROSEMARY WOODBRIDGE.)
ROYAL GAMES LOTTERY (Steve Henman / Martin Gardner)
ROYAL MAJESTIC BV
ROYAL GLOBE SWEEPSTAKES (Mr. Jim Don, Mrs. Hilary Berkamp)
Royal International Lottery Promotion
ROYAL NETHERLANDS SWEEPSTAKES BV (Caroline Hesnik)
ROYAL SPANISH SWEEPSTAKE LOTTERY (Raul John)
ROYAL STRIDE PROMO LOTTERY, ENGLAND (Mrs janet tiller / MR JACK FREEMAN)
Perhaps Mr. Boren (recruit_officer@sify.com) will be on this list soon. At least he didn't ask for my SSN. Yet.
Date: Sat May 29 07:55:14 CDT 2010
From: "Thomas G. Boren"
Subject: Re: Employment Opportunities
Re: Employment Opportunities
Southern Electric Company
125 Goshawks Rd
Chesterton, Essex CO2 9JT, UK
Registered in Scotland No.117110
VAT No-Go 5532 7696 03
Phone: +447045731647
Email:recruit_officer@sify.com
A new job opening in your area, its a work from home/office position and you are not required to pay any registration fee or pay for any application form before you get employed.
Our Company seeks the service of a payment processor who would act as a medium of reaching our customers. If you choose to work with us, you do not need to quit your present job, or have problems with your employers as this is on a part time basis
THIS IS WHAT IT ENTAILS:
1. Get/receive payment from clients/Customers.
2. Process Payments at your Bank.
3. Deduct 10% which is your commission/Payment on check cashed.
4. Forward the remaining 90% to the information that will be provided later on.
Kindly provide us with your basic personal info such as:
Full Name:
Contact Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Country:
Phone Number:
Fill the above application so as to qualify you for the position.
Thomas S Boren.
If you get an e-mail using sify.com it may be Spam or worse.
Sify.com is a free hosting company. I Googled and got this informative site: http://www.419scam.org/419companies.htm#r
Here are the "R's." Please note that this recuritment offer is not listed:
RAINBOW NET LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMM.
RANDSTAD SECURITIES & VAULTS
RAYMOND CROSSROAD, AMSTERDAM (MR REINHARD WOOD, Pieter Han) Rdscourier
REAL LOTTERY INC
REALTY PROCESSING AGENCY (ANTHONY KLUIVERT / MARIA VENE)
REGIONAL FINANCE INTL. AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS.
REWARD INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY NETHERLANDS (Paul Wilkins)
Ricoh Security Agencies S.L
Rivers State Government International Lottery Program (George K. Alade, Susan Edafe)
Rolls-Royce Heritage Trust Charity Foundation
ROVAK FINANCE & SECURITIES COMPANY BV (Mr.Van Maroney)
ROYAL-BAY SECURITY
Royal Financial & Securities Services (MR.Trevor Baker, ROSEMARY WOODBRIDGE.)
ROYAL GAMES LOTTERY (Steve Henman / Martin Gardner)
ROYAL MAJESTIC BV
ROYAL GLOBE SWEEPSTAKES (Mr. Jim Don, Mrs. Hilary Berkamp)
Royal International Lottery Promotion
ROYAL NETHERLANDS SWEEPSTAKES BV (Caroline Hesnik)
ROYAL SPANISH SWEEPSTAKE LOTTERY (Raul John)
ROYAL STRIDE PROMO LOTTERY, ENGLAND (Mrs janet tiller / MR JACK FREEMAN)
Perhaps Mr. Boren (recruit_officer@sify.com) will be on this list soon. At least he didn't ask for my SSN. Yet.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Another e-mail -- this one had a virus in the attachment
Got this e-mail today from our provider. It could have been bad news.
Of course I never open these attachments but then again you never know either.
Date: Tue May 4 15:03:17 CDT 2010
From: "Postal Manager Melanie Gabriel"
Subject: UPS Delivery Problem NR.6048713
To: ahope1@consolidated.net
WARNING!!! (from email32.consolidated.net)
The following message attachments were flagged by the antivirus scanner:
Attachment [2.2] UPS_invoice_1978.zip, virus infected: Mal/Koobface-E,Troj/BredoZp-S. Action taken: deleted
Dear customer!
We were not able to deliver the postal package sent on the 4th of January in time
because the recipient’s address is incorrect.
Please print out the invoice copy attached and collect the package at our department.
United Parcel Service of America.
VIRUS WARNING Message (from email32.consolidated.net)
The virus Mal/Koobface-E,Troj/BredoZp-S was detected in email attachment [2.2] UPS_invoice_1978.zip. The infected attachment has been deleted.
Of course I never open these attachments but then again you never know either.
Date: Tue May 4 15:03:17 CDT 2010
From: "Postal Manager Melanie Gabriel"
Subject: UPS Delivery Problem NR.6048713
To: ahope1@consolidated.net
WARNING!!! (from email32.consolidated.net)
The following message attachments were flagged by the antivirus scanner:
Attachment [2.2] UPS_invoice_1978.zip, virus infected: Mal/Koobface-E,Troj/BredoZp-S. Action taken: deleted
Dear customer!
We were not able to deliver the postal package sent on the 4th of January in time
because the recipient’s address is incorrect.
Please print out the invoice copy attached and collect the package at our department.
United Parcel Service of America.
VIRUS WARNING Message (from email32.consolidated.net)
The virus Mal/Koobface-E,Troj/BredoZp-S was detected in email attachment [2.2] UPS_invoice_1978.zip. The infected attachment has been deleted.
Labels: e-mailings
Friday, February 19, 2010
Got this e-mail, now ...
I am hurrying over to the FedEx office here right now. My e-mail giving instructions said what to do and I have complied. I have my laptop with me as they need a couple more references for me.
So if you could be my reference, please send me your full legal name, date and place of birth, your mother's maiden name, and a couple of your account numbers. They did ask for the Social Security numbers as well so if you feel comfortable with that you can send it too.
I don't know much else, I just need to hurry. They said they would contact someone else very soon if I had troubles helping with this case.
Here is the e-mail I got:
Date: Thu Feb 18 19:57:01 CST 2010
From: "C.E.O DONALD WITLOT"
Subject: DESK OF DR.LINDA WILLIAMS
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) SENIOR DEPARTMENT DESK OF DR.LINDA WILLIAMS
ATTN:
Sorry for the late reply i was very busy all this with some investigation update i need to send to our department in Florida.
I want to use this means to let you know that our Internet department are doing there best to make sure they get all internet fraud organisation and get them arrested.
Remember my advice to you is very important to this transaction and you need to stick to my instruction ok.
there is a MasterCard ATM CARD which contain $20 Million usd and this include interest rate up till date and it was in your name and information and your daily limit withdraw is $10,000 once you start to use it in any bank ATM SYSTEM.
You need to contact the FEDEX NEXT DAY EXPRESS DELIVERY AGENT WHO HIS IN CHARGE OF YOUR PACKAGE AND BELOW IS THE INFORMATION YOU WILL NEED TO CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL.
FEDEX INTERNATION DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
ADDRESS: 10/15 AIRPORT ROAD
LAGOS,NIGERIA
NAME: EMMANUEL JOHNSON
EMAIL: EMMAJOHNSIDE@AIRPOST.NET
ONCE YOU CONTACT HIM TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT YOUR PACKAGE WHICH CONTAIN THE MASTERCARD ATM CARD $20 MILLION USD AND YOU SHOULD ALSO LET HIM KNOW THAT DR. LINDA FROM FBI INSTRUCTED YOU TO CONTACT HIM OK.
ONCE THIS IS DONE MAKE SURE YOU KEEP ME UPDATE.
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
REMEMBER STOP CONTACT WITH THOSE INTERNET FRAUD GROUP OK AND MAKE SURE ONCE YOU RECIEVE ANY STRANGE EMAIL FROM THEM FORWARD IT TO ME SO OUR INTERNET DEPARTMENT CAN MAKE AN INVESTIGATION AND GET THEM ARRESTED OK.
AWAIT YOUR REPLY
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
Dr.Linda Williams
SENIOR OFFICE DEPARTMENT
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
J. Edgar Hoover Building 935
Pennsylvania Avenue,NW Washington,
D.C.20535-0001, USA
So if you could be my reference, please send me your full legal name, date and place of birth, your mother's maiden name, and a couple of your account numbers. They did ask for the Social Security numbers as well so if you feel comfortable with that you can send it too.
I don't know much else, I just need to hurry. They said they would contact someone else very soon if I had troubles helping with this case.
Here is the e-mail I got:
Date: Thu Feb 18 19:57:01 CST 2010
From: "C.E.O DONALD WITLOT"
Subject: DESK OF DR.LINDA WILLIAMS
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) SENIOR DEPARTMENT DESK OF DR.LINDA WILLIAMS
ATTN:
Sorry for the late reply i was very busy all this with some investigation update i need to send to our department in Florida.
I want to use this means to let you know that our Internet department are doing there best to make sure they get all internet fraud organisation and get them arrested.
Remember my advice to you is very important to this transaction and you need to stick to my instruction ok.
there is a MasterCard ATM CARD which contain $20 Million usd and this include interest rate up till date and it was in your name and information and your daily limit withdraw is $10,000 once you start to use it in any bank ATM SYSTEM.
You need to contact the FEDEX NEXT DAY EXPRESS DELIVERY AGENT WHO HIS IN CHARGE OF YOUR PACKAGE AND BELOW IS THE INFORMATION YOU WILL NEED TO CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL.
FEDEX INTERNATION DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
ADDRESS: 10/15 AIRPORT ROAD
LAGOS,NIGERIA
NAME: EMMANUEL JOHNSON
EMAIL: EMMAJOHNSIDE@AIRPOST.NET
ONCE YOU CONTACT HIM TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT YOUR PACKAGE WHICH CONTAIN THE MASTERCARD ATM CARD $20 MILLION USD AND YOU SHOULD ALSO LET HIM KNOW THAT DR. LINDA FROM FBI INSTRUCTED YOU TO CONTACT HIM OK.
ONCE THIS IS DONE MAKE SURE YOU KEEP ME UPDATE.
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
REMEMBER STOP CONTACT WITH THOSE INTERNET FRAUD GROUP OK AND MAKE SURE ONCE YOU RECIEVE ANY STRANGE EMAIL FROM THEM FORWARD IT TO ME SO OUR INTERNET DEPARTMENT CAN MAKE AN INVESTIGATION AND GET THEM ARRESTED OK.
AWAIT YOUR REPLY
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.
Dr.Linda Williams
SENIOR OFFICE DEPARTMENT
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
J. Edgar Hoover Building 935
Pennsylvania Avenue,NW Washington,
D.C.20535-0001, USA
.
It bothers me a bit that the FedEx has moved into this tent. If any of yours has done that you might let me know. I suppose it's okay.
Labels: e-mailings, Humor
Saturday, May 30, 2009
End your e-mail problems!
I am passing this little gem along, you may wish to use these folks.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THEM AT ALL. THIS IS PROBABLY A HOAX I GOT OR PHISHING.
Got this e-mail today:
Date: Sat May 30 10:30:07 CDT 2009
From: "Email Service"
Subject: Message Alert To: Undisclosed recipients: ;
E-mail Services
Dear Valued Customer,
We have just updated our E-mail SSL Server. This E-mail has been put on a Secure server. Kindly click on the " View My E-mail " link stated below in order to read it:
Read My E-mail
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THEM AT ALL. THIS IS PROBABLY A HOAX I GOT OR PHISHING.
Got this e-mail today:
Date: Sat May 30 10:30:07 CDT 2009
From: "Email Service"
Subject: Message Alert To: Undisclosed recipients: ;
E-mail Services
Dear Valued Customer,
We have just updated our E-mail SSL Server. This E-mail has been put on a Secure server. Kindly click on the " View My E-mail " link stated below in order to read it:
Read My E-mail
Labels: e-mailings, Humor
Friday, April 03, 2009
I'm sharing this for your benefit too -- my lottery winnings
Since I am one of the "Undisclosed-recipeients" I am just putting this on for anyone and everyone to share in my winnings. Just say "Jim sent you" or claim to be one of these "Undisclosed-recipeients."
Here's what I got:
Good News!!!Friday, April 3, 2009 5:21 AM
From: "Canadian Lottery Promotions"Add sender to ContactsTo: undisclosed-recipientsYour e-mail address has made, you a winner of 2,500,000GBP in the Canadian
Lottery Promotion.
Contact our (BRITISH AGENT) for more details.
==========================================
Name: Mr. Castle Trevor Allan
E-mail:trevorallan24@gala.neta (I added the "a" to foil
the robot e-mail spammers)
Tel:+447031979972
==========================================
Thank you.
Mrs. Patricia atkins (Lotto Co-ordinator)
----------------------------------------------------------------
This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.
Enjoy. I do like the IMP, have you tried it?
Here's what I got:
Good News!!!Friday, April 3, 2009 5:21 AM
From: "Canadian Lottery Promotions"
Lottery Promotion.
Contact our (BRITISH AGENT) for more details.
==========================================
Name: Mr. Castle Trevor Allan
E-mail:trevorallan24@gala.neta (I added the "a" to foil
the robot e-mail spammers)
Tel:+447031979972
==========================================
Thank you.
Mrs. Patricia atkins (Lotto Co-ordinator)
----------------------------------------------------------------
This message was sent using IMP, the Internet Messaging Program.
Enjoy. I do like the IMP, have you tried it?
Labels: e-mailings, Humor
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Single Black Female
"bornagn901@
To: A Bunch
Forwarded Message: Single Black Female
Message contains attachments
 Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society |
Labels: Animals, e-mailings, Humor
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I'm 'baby bear'
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
August 01, 2007: baby bear
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baby+bear&defid=938273
adj. - when something is "just right." Not too hot or too cold, not too
big or too small, etc.
"Are you hungry?"
"Naw man... I'm baby bear."
www.urbandictionary.com
August 01, 2007: baby bear
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=baby+bear&defid=938273
adj. - when something is "just right." Not too hot or too cold, not too
big or too small, etc.
"Are you hungry?"
"Naw man... I'm baby bear."
Labels: Animals, e-mailings, Humor
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
Got this e-mail today:
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."
The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."
Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."
They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.
It was from friend, M:
Date: Wed 6 Jun 00:55:47 CDT 2007
From: "M
Subject: Fw: PECANS IN THE CEMETERY
To: a bunch of us
Labels: e-mailings
Monday, April 23, 2007
How to make life easier -- Tips for liviing easier
Andy Rooney's tips for telemarketers and junk mail....
(1)Three Little Words That Work!!
The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then, when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.
What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!
(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.
Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right?
It costs them more than the regular 39 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 39 cents.
The banks and credit card companies are currently
getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!
Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!
If enough people follow these tips, it will work----
I have been doing this for years, and I get very little
junk mail anymore.
THIS MAY BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS
Date: Mon 23 Apr 13:38:31 CDT 2007
From: Cousin, J
Subject: Andy Rooney's Great Tips!
To: a lot of us
(1)Three Little Words That Work!!
The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.
Then, when you eventually hear the phone company's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.
(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.
This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.
What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!
(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get "ads" enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these "ads" with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.
When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.
Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right?
It costs them more than the regular 39 cents postage "IF" and when they receive them back.
It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.
One of Andy Rooney's (60 minutes) ideas.
Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!
If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.
You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 39 cents.
The banks and credit card companies are currently
getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!
Let's help keep our postal service busy since they are saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!
If enough people follow these tips, it will work----
I have been doing this for years, and I get very little
junk mail anymore.
THIS MAY BE ONE E-MAIL THAT YOU WILL WANT TO FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS
Date: Mon 23 Apr 13:38:31 CDT 2007
From: Cousin, J
Subject: Andy Rooney's Great Tips!
To: a lot of us
Labels: e-mailings
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Urban Word of the Day: spring broke
Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
April 14, 2007: spring broke [link to dictionary for this definition]
"When you're broke because you spent all your money on [spring break].
Hey man, wanna go to a movie or somethin'?
Nah, I'm spring broke. The cash I took to vegas, stayed in vegas. "
--
Got that in my daily e-mail from them this morning. I liked it, these people don't edit for bad spelling. You can send in your new definition if you'd like.
Subject: Urban Word of the Day: spring broke
From: Apr 2007 04:00:02 -0700 (PDT)
To: [Jim and a lot of others]
Labels: e-mailings
Friday, March 30, 2007
Life explained via The Creation
Got this e-mail today:
[it's kinda goofy, but it came from my goofy relative]
Date: Sat 29 Apr 09:47:47 CDT 2006
From: D
Subject: life explained
To: ... a bunch of us
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?""Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
[it's kinda goofy, but it came from my goofy relative]
Date: Sat 29 Apr 09:47:47 CDT 2006
From: D
Subject: life explained
To: ... a bunch of us
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?""Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
Labels: e-mailings
