Monday, May 05, 2008

(Rescued from Jim's Little Blog of 1/06/2006) . Visit Internet Clipart for great graphics


I have just finished my new Christmas present book on golf that purports to give the reader valuable playing tips and insider information.
Here is some more that I have gained through years of personal experience. I'm writing my own book, Better Golf: How to Help Your Game--Sage Advice From and Old Timer. Please note, this is my book, copyright and all. *
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker
Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank
Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9am
Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
Chapter 10 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn‘t Care That You Birdied the 5th
Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee
Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game
Chapter 18 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer From The Cart Girl and Give Her a $3 Tip, But Will Balk at $3.50 at the 19th Hole and Stiff the Bartender

I am writing Chapter 16 first. I really like my retreiver. I got a birdie with it once. We were playing a par four that had to go over the water. My ball got over the water but was stuck on a ledge that was supposed to be a waterfall.

The ball was reachable with my retreiver. With one motion I picked up the ball and three it like a javelin towards the green. You could see I was upset about all that.

My trusty retreiver landed twenty feet from the green on its 'shaft end.' The ball released, flew to green, and went in the hole. My brother-in-law, Jim, earlier had called it a club so nobody argued when I claimed the birdie score.

* Ideas cannot be copyrighted. But written material can. That's why I can claim the above. I think that goes for everything on this blog that I haven't given credit to others. But I should have a disclaimer in my profile like I've seen on some.



Jim, I know absolutely Nothing about golf except you hit a ball and try to knock it into a hole.

You sound like a pro at it!!
# posted by Rachel : Fri Jan 06, 11:29:00 AM CST


I think you didn‘t remember right: your son & son-in-law didn‘t think you could count that stroke as they said that wasn‘t a club...your sister says it is, though.
Don‘t think it made any difference in the outcome of the game, however!
How about a chapter on running over your sister?
Or maybe just a chapter on how to cross a bridge without running over
# posted by Your sister, Lois : Fri Jan 06, 01:12:00 PM CST


Those tire tracks did wash right our of her shirt back so it wasn't too big of a issue.
I'll write this--not sure what chapter, surely not a new one--and tell the WHOLE story.
# posted by Jim : Fri Jan 06, 01:18:00 PM CST


I think I've already written all of those chapters.
Remember, never pick up someone else's lost ball until it quits rolling.
# posted by Cliff Morrow : Fri Jan 06, 03:58:00 PM CST


That is funny! Billy thought that he said it did count as a birdie using your retriever. Tomorrow,I get to have my steak or sushi dinner off of his win today!
# posted by Karen, Jr. #5 : Fri Jan 06, 07:38:00 PM CST


I'm rolling on the floor! Best laugh I've had all week. Think I woke the kids up. Aunt Lois's request for another chapter is a well deserved one.
# posted by Tim : Sun Jan 08, 05:00:00 AM CST
If I read your book, will I be as good as you?

Hi Ray -- That wouldn't be very good! But I have fun.

The answer is no, you need lessons from a pro or one of your brothers.
Did you look at our friend's car and dog on the Photo Place today?

BTW, Googling my name is the hard way to the blogs. You should have them in your favorites.
I do have them in my favorites.
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